Daily Tweet

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Underdog
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Postby Underdog » Sun May 06, 2018 8:54 am

"Are you asleep?", is one of the most pointless questions possible.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Postby Underdog » Mon May 07, 2018 11:21 am

You ever try to sneeze and burp at the same time? I don't recommend it.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Tue May 08, 2018 5:40 pm

Underdog's Rules For Life:
#1- Relationships are the most important things in life.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Wed May 09, 2018 9:18 am

All analogies break down eventually, like a submarine when you release a herd of camels in it.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Thu May 10, 2018 12:17 am

Fear and regret are simply tools to help you re-evaluate your priorities.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Fri May 11, 2018 12:08 am

You ever pass a Popeye's Chicken on the freeway and decide it's worth it to get off and go back and you realize too late that the next intersection is two miles instead of one and the traffic is all backed up but you think that's ok because you can get into the turnaround lane and go under the bridge but the turnaround is closed for construction so you have to wait through all of the lights? That's what it's like for me all the time.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Sat May 12, 2018 12:05 am

If I wrote a book, I've often wondered what the opening line would be, and what people would think of it. Hey guys, I'm writing a book and that's the opening line, what do ya'll think?
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Mon May 14, 2018 3:17 pm

Watching "Outlander" and it occurred to me that if I were dropped into the 1740's, I wouldn't be able to invent anything.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Tue May 15, 2018 12:01 am

Aha, I have created the perfect word circle:

side arm chair rail bird brain drain pipe dream boat keel over drawn out
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Thu May 17, 2018 1:38 pm

I said something funny but somebody else talked at the same time and I don't think anybody heard me but I don't know if I should say it again in case they did hear it but didn't think it was funny and they would think I was lame for repeating myself but while I was thinking about it the subject got changed. That's what it's like for me all the time.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."

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