Daily Tweet

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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:19 pm

I’m getting so tired of being the smartest man in America. Not once have I heard this most important life lesson in the media:

If you act like a jerk, you increase the likelihood exponentially that you will come to the attention of a bigger, meaner jerk.

What I would tell my kids was that no matter how much something escalates, it has an origin. Just trace it back to its roots. Don’t start it, and don’t escalate.

This is about road rage, yeah, that’s the ticket, road rage.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Postby Underdog » Tue Jun 02, 2020 12:57 pm

I kid you not: on our walk we have about seven chickens that hang out at this one intersection. Finally there was someone on one of the porches of one of the four corner houses. We asked whose chickens they were and she didn’t know. She even had one of the chickens trapped in her yard, unable to get out.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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MyMindsEye
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby MyMindsEye » Tue Jun 02, 2020 4:45 pm

We live in a former dairy town now long since suburbanized. At a fairly busy intersection, there is a vacant lot (appx 1acre) that has not been developed and has at one time been designated a endagered owl habitat (never seen one). But, every now and then, we would see a large flock of Chickens, complete with Rooster, parading around on the corner of the lot. Then.....gone! No obvious owners or dwellings for them to retreat to so......where do they go? Weeks/Months go by then..tada!!!! Chickens! Roosters! Very bizzare. :shrug:
Ps.. still no owls ......perhaps they're in costume! :)
:no: Be chary of giving advice. Wise men don't need it, Fools won't heed it. - MmE
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Tue Jun 02, 2020 5:57 pm

MyMindsEye wrote:... But, every now and then, we would see a large flock of Chickens, complete with Rooster, parading around on the corner of the lot. Then.....gone! No obvious owners or dwellings for them to retreat to so......where do they go? ...



That’s what we have, feral chickens.


A man was driving his car about 40 miles an hour down a road and saw a 3-legged chicken running alongside of him. He sped up to 50 miles an hour and the chicken kept up with him. He sped up to 65 and the chicken kept up, ran in front of his car and shot across in front of him and ran down a dirt road.

The man turned around and looked for the chicken. He saw a farmer and told him what happened. The farmer said, "I raise those chickens."

"Why three legs?" the man asked.

"Well, you and your wife probably enjoy chicken legs, and if you had company, they could have one also.”

“How do they taste?" The man asked.

The farmer replied, "I don't know, I’ve never been able to catch one."
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Wed Jun 03, 2020 11:13 pm

Yes I kick ice cubes under the fridge. I intend to do something about it later, but I never do.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Postby Underdog » Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:20 am

Yeah I write my own stuff, but looking at this audience, I could steal a lot of material and you’d never know it. However, the chicken joke was Buddy Hackett’s on a Johnny Carson appearance, so you probably knew that one.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Diogenese
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Postby Diogenese » Thu Jun 04, 2020 9:23 am

Johnny who?? :P
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. :roll:

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MyMindsEye
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby MyMindsEye » Thu Jun 04, 2020 3:14 pm

Johnny Carson!!!!!
You know!.......Kit's boy! :lol:
:no: Be chary of giving advice. Wise men don't need it, Fools won't heed it. - MmE
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Postby Diogenese » Thu Jun 04, 2020 5:44 pm

Oh yeah, I think I remember him. Wasn't he the guy in competition with Hugh Hefner in both the "most times" married and "largest age difference" categories? (Hefner had him beat in the second one. Not many people marry someone who wasn't born by the time they were old enough to collect social security)
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. :roll:

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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Fri Jun 05, 2020 12:25 am

I had a blue sticky note mixed in with my dollar bills in my wallet. Always told myself I’d take a look at it and see what it was. Well, yesterday I didn’t see it and couldn’t find it, so here’s hoping it wasn’t important.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."

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