Daily Tweet

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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Fri May 18, 2018 9:45 am

Dagger Bay having the edit button in perpetuity, can work for you or against you.
But it wouldn't hurt for people to re-read all of my tweets.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Sat May 19, 2018 11:11 am

Wake up. Try to think of something to tweet about today's Royal Wedding. Go back to bed.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Sun May 20, 2018 1:45 am

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that I was trying to vacuum a swimming pool. I know that sounds kind of ridiculous but in my dream I thought I could do it if I held the vacuum cleaner just right and didn't let it submerge too deep into the water. Either that or I just made this up because dreams are easy to make up.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Mon May 21, 2018 2:54 am

What my mother would complain about me the most, was how much I would lie... or did she?
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Tue May 22, 2018 6:41 pm

Underdog's Rules For Life #4
The person with the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Diogenese
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Diogenese » Tue May 22, 2018 8:30 pm

I'd be lazy, but I can't work up the motivation to do it.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. :roll:

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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Wed May 23, 2018 12:14 am

I was wondering why my Word program didn't alert me when I typed in "complaun", then I remembered that I added it to the dictionary.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Thu May 24, 2018 7:36 pm

I have come to the conclusion that whatever you do, you should be proud of it. In this way, you take away the power of haters; it no longer matters what they say. Because of this I can be open about my lifestyle. I can have dignity as I eat food that I've dropped on the floor.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Fri May 25, 2018 12:06 am

If I squint my eyes, I don't have to use my glasses. It saves time, but then I have to see the people staring at me in sharp focus.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."
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Underdog
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Re: Daily Tweet

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Postby Underdog » Sat May 26, 2018 9:02 am

I'm working on a new catch phrase. When someone says something I agree with, I say, "Tha's wha' dime talkin' 'bout sayin'". It's easier to understand when you hear it than when you read it.
I bought my friend an elephant for his room. He said, "Thanks." I said, "Don't mention it."

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