Absurd Classified Ads
 Oct 27, 2019

Well you clamored for it (one of you anyway) so by popular demand, here it is!

Give us your most Absurd Classified ads! They must be original, If you actually want to place your ad offering 10 years of belly button lint on Craigslist, be our guest!

You may enter as many times as you want, but only one ad per entry. Knock your socks off! Then sell your used unwashed socks on E-Bay and make big bucks!

Contest Rules
* Entry Fee: Free
* Prize: Advanced Trophy
* Level: Advanced
* Word Limits I don't know, say around 100. I'm not planning to count Just don't write a novel, it's a classified ad, those cost per column inch.
* Submit period: 21 days
* Voting period: 2 days
* All regular Writing Deck Rules apply.
* Multiple entries are allowed in this contest.


Entries for classified ad contest on writing deck. Witty humor a plus, but frankly at this point we will settle for several strings of random words which appear to be in a sentence-like structure. Grammar is optional. Coherency is also optional. Must have your own hulahoop. I don’t know why, but there you go. Blame Underdog for that one.

For Sale or Trade
Vintage Manual Toothbrush w/angled head and tongue scrapper.
3 row soft bristle. Compact head.
Like new, Hardly used. Bristles show little wear.
Previously owned by little old lady. Never shared or used on pets.
Blue over White.
Hard to find in this condition.
Will include 2 pc travel holder.
$4.12obo + shipping.
Pics on request.

Will trade for nose hair trimmer.

Call: (859) 555-1212 - Bucky
3rd place

Having a hard time accepting the fact that your guns will soon be confiscated? Wondering what you will do when you no longer have the option for violence? Our messaging app of the future, “CalmText”, will usher in an era of peace and serenity. No more capital letters in the messaging functions... you can’t be interpreted as yelling. Our arbitration arena will nip arguments in the bud. Fines will be incurred for unpleasant word choices and emojis will automatically be added. Show the world you are ready for an angerless and gunless society, purchase “CalmText”!
4th place

For sale: Recently found sealed historical documents. My letters to Santa Claus hidden in Mom's hope chest.